RFC 4144

RFC 4144: How to Gain Prominence and Influence in Standards Organizations 💅

Network Working Group, D. Eastlake 3rd from Motorola Laboratories, 🗓️ September 2005. It's Informational ✨, so it's a helpful guide, not a standard. The header doesn't list anything it obsoletes or updates, so it doesn't replace or change any other RFC 🫶

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Status of This Memo 📚

This memo gives info to the Internet community. It does not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution of this memo is unlimited 🌸

Copyright Notice ©️

Copyright (C) The Internet Society (2005).

IESG Note 🧾

Okay, this one's important bestie 🙈 This RFC is not a candidate for any level of Internet Standard. The IETF disclaims any knowledge of the fitness of this RFC for any purpose, and the decision to publish wasn't based on IETF review apart from IESG review for conflict with IETF work. The RFC Editor chose to publish this document at its discretion. See RFC 3932 for more information 🦋

Abstract 🎀

This document gives simple guidelines that can make it easier for you to gain prominence and influence in most standards organizations 💖

Table of Contents 🗂️

1. Introduction ....................................................2
2. Human Organizations .............................................2
3. Eighty Percent of Success is Showing Up .........................2
4. Sit Up Front ....................................................3
5. Break Bread .....................................................3
6. Develop Friends and Mentors .....................................4
7. Be Helpful ......................................................4
8. Learn The Traditions and Rules ..................................5
9. Acronyms and Special Terms ......................................5
10. Pick Your Points ...............................................6
11. Technical and Communications Skill .............................7
12. Do Not Try Too Hard ............................................7
13. Security Considerations ........................................7
14. Informative References .........................................8

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1. Introduction ✨

This doc has simple guidelines that can help you gain prominence and influence in most standards, and lots of other human organizations too 🌈 It only takes normal communication skills, real technical skill, and moderate effort to follow them. You've got this 💅

2. Human Organizations 🏫

Okay, so every organization made of humans looks like it has an inner clique running things to newcomers 👀 This happens whether there's a semi-permanent tight-knit inside group trying to keep all the power for itself, or whether the people in charge genuinely want to be open and share, with a system for regularly replacing them. It's just how human society works 🫠 It always takes time and effort to get to know new people. [Carnegie]

Every organization also has procedures 📋 It always takes time and effort to learn how things get done. In an organization of any size, the people with authority literally can't spend equal time talking with everyone about every issue. Their positions mean they'll be in lots of conversations with each other and fewer with the average member. And some information should normally be kept confidential, at least until it's verified, and sometimes even after that. Charges of ethical or other violations against individuals are examples 🤐

But despite all that, following a few simple guidelines can really speed up how fast you become favorably known in an organization 🚀 Being favorably known can make you more likely to be picked for things like editing documents, being secretary or clerk of a group (so you get to write the record of what actually happened 👀), or maybe even becoming chair or deputy chair 👑

3. Eighty Percent of Success is Showing Up 🙋‍♀️

It is the simplest thing! If you're absent, how are you gonna have much prominence or influence? 💀

This applies to every venue: email and messaging, phone and video conferences, and especially in-person or face-to-face meetings. You don't need 100% attendance, but your absences should be rare 🌸 If you can, only miss the less important events.

Attendance matters most at meetings of the specific body you're into 💜 But also keep an eye out for higher-level or lower-level meetings that are open. Lots of standards groups have a multi-level structure. Besides attending the group you're interested in, if there are open meetings of various group chairs or the like, going to those can be a total fast track, even if you only get to observe and be noticed ✨ And if the group you care about has sub-groups, think about going to them too so people get to know you faster 🦋 These meetings might happen before the regular member meetings start or after they end, so if you're really serious, be ready to arrive early and leave late 🔥

4. Sit Up Front 🪑

If a meeting is very small, say under 20 people, seating doesn't make much difference 🤷‍♀️ But for meetings of any size, especially when you're just starting out with an organization, sit up front! Don't be scared of the first row even if it's empty. The second row and sometimes even the third are not too bad either. Show up early if you need to, but it's usually not necessary, because most people are extremely reluctant to put themselves in an exposed spot like the front row 😭

After you've got some experience, you might decide to sit with a group that sits together 🧚 But at bigger meetings, the prominent people usually sit either near the front or way at the back. (Sitting in the back, at least in big rooms, can mean you can wander around and chat with people without disrupting things 🫶)

5. Break Bread 🍓

Every meeting that lasts any length includes refreshments and meals. Otherwise the attendees would starve 💀

If there's a group catered meal, try sitting with different groups or factions to get a feel for the different viewpoints in the organization 🌈 Or try sitting at a table and eating with people who have some seniority and experience in the organization, if they seem open to it 💅

For multi-day meetings, there's usually at least one big social event where attendees can hang out 🎉 For small meetings (attendance under 100) and medium ones (attendance under 500 or so), it's common for people to go to the social event. Usually some alcohol is available, and people are more relaxed and informal 🍸 These are great places to approach high-level officials to swap a pleasant word or two, or even make a small request. But don't expect detailed technical discussions, although sometimes they do happen 🤓

Social events are often at noisy locations 🔊 And sometimes, as organizations get bigger, the events get so huge and congested that many of the most prominent people schedule informal meetings across from them. You'll have to see how it works in your organization 👀

But there will also be plenty of informal lunch, dinner, and maybe breakfast groups (unless they're all catered) and other get-togethers 🥞 At a lot of standards meetings, you can more or less invite yourself along to these meal groups, unless they're a small confidential group or a group of employees from a particular company, or something like that 🙃 People will usually warn you if the group plans to spend much of the meal discussing some particular issue, so you can decide whether you want to join 💜

6. Develop Friends and Mentors 🧑‍🤝‍🧑

It's really hard to get things done and figure out what's going on all by yourself 😩 If you can, find a few people with more experience you can go to with questions.

Introduce yourself to people and be friendly! But don't automatically link up with the first people you meet 👀 You want people who are knowledgeable and well-regarded within the organization 👑

If you follow the advice in section 7 below, you should have plenty of chances to meet experienced people in an organization 🫶

7. Be Helpful 🤝

Within reason, volunteer for some of the drudgery you're competent at 💅 Think taking notes during meetings, helping someone draft a proposal, or offering to rewrite part of a draft for clarity and consistency ✍️

This sort of thing gets you noticed and puts some people in your debt, at least a little 🧾 But be careful not to volunteer for more than you can actually do. Failing to follow through will damage your reputation 💀 If you do get overcommitted, ask for help as soon as you realize it. The worst thing you can do is miss your promises and not let anyone know until it's too late for them to recover 😭

Main character warning: Don't overcommit and then go quiet. Silence is the fastest way to lose your glow-up 🚨

8. Learn The Traditions and Rules 📜

It's super important to know an organization's traditions: how things get done, which rules get ignored, how rules are interpreted, and which rules are strictly enforced 🕵️‍♀️

Traditions matter more, but it can't hurt to also know the official rules and procedures 📖 Low-level groups in the organization are pretty unlikely to follow the officially adopted rules and procedures in detail, unless the organization is very informal.

Don't object to procedure just for the sake of objecting! If you keep invoking obscure, rarely used official rules over small matters, people will assume that whatever you say is silly or obstructionist until proven otherwise 🙄 And if you invoke official rules to override tradition on something important, know that you're playing with a weapon of mass destruction ☢️ You might or might not hit your immediate goal, but the blowback will almost certainly damage your future efforts in that organization 💥

Following tradition is always the path of least resistance 🛤️ But knowing the official rules tells you when they could be used against you. That can help you pick a path that fits both the traditions and the rules, which maximizes your chances of success 🌟

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...to be continued, part 2 is coming next 🦋✨

9. Acronyms and Special Terms ✨

okay so every technical effort is literally drowning in acronyms and "terms of art" 😭 it can feel like nothing is really happening until a group has invented a few non-obvious words that confuse everyone who wasn't around for the last few months. and the acronyms aren't even stable! especially early on, when ideas are still flopping around, the terms keep changing, which confuses people who aren't in the most active part of the group 🙈

ngl, if you read an explanation of some deep technical thing written so literally anyone can understand it, you can be almost certain it's not how experts actually talk to each other, out loud or in writing. this is true in every field 💅 read something about engineering big "air vents" and "water pipes"? experts say "plenum" and "penstock" 🌸

it's a bad strategy to get lost in acronyms you don't know, because then you can't follow what people are saying and you might make a fool of yourself if you guess wrong. the best move is to find out what the acronyms mean and learn them in advance. if that doesn't happen, ask about acronyms or weird terms as soon as you can, ideally the first time you hear them. writing down what they mean can't hurt either 📝 and honestly? there are usually other people who also wanted to ask but were too scared, and they'll be so grateful you took the initiative 🫶

10. Pick Your Points 🦋

bestie, think a bit about the impression you're making on people 👀

if you insist on speaking to every single issue, even when you don't have any really strong points, you'll get a reputation as a blowhard who doesn't add much and just slows everything down 💀 but if you only speak up sometimes, and you have solid points when you do, people will pay way more attention to your occasional speeches 👑

similarly, if you quibble about everything, you'll burn through all the good will you've built up, and you might get labeled an obstructionist who causes needless delays 😤 if an organization is working on something complex, not every decision is going to go your way, and that's just life. so consider where you could actually get your way, figure out how important each one is to you, how strong your arguments are, and how much opposition you'll probably meet. keep in mind that your arguments will usually seem way more impressive to you than they do to everyone else 🙈 based on all that, you can make a reasoned choice about where to really fight and maybe recruit allies or call in favors 💖

this does NOT mean you should ignore minor issues forever and never speak up. if you have new information or opinions to contribute, go for it! just don't pour a ton of energy into fighting an issue or making a point unless it matters to you and you think you have a reasonable chance of winning 🎀

11. Technical and Communications Skill 🧠

you might be surprised that I've said very little about technical and communication skills, even though the Introduction assumed you already had normal skills in those areas. but you do need to understand the technical side of what's going on so nobody can easily bamboozle you 🫣

if you're very strong technically and can make real contributions, you can be super helpful, as long as you contribute in a way that doesn't offend too many people. but especially in a big technical standards body, not everyone can be a strong technical contributor, and that's okay 🌈

strong verbal and written communication skills can help too. but if you aren't fluent in the dominant language of the organization, you'll be at a disadvantage. the organization should make some effort to be approachable for people for whom that language is a second language, but honestly the best thing to do is put in the time and effort to become fluent 📚 [Farber] as a stopgap, you can team up with someone you communicate well with who is fluent in the standards organization's language. they can speak for you in meetings if needed, and you can co-author written contributions together 🫶

and if you're the rare genius with superb technical, communication, AND interpersonal skills? you're honestly wasting your time reading this 💅 you might be able to get away with doing the exact opposite of some of its recommendations. but I wouldn't count on it 😌

12. Do Not Try Too Hard 🌸

lastly, give yourself some time to settle into an organization first. then be reasonably assertive, but don't get too pushy unless an issue is so important that you're willing to risk the reputation you've built up ✨ and please, try never to lose your temper 🙏

unless you're a genius at interpersonal relations, you won't gain serious prominence and influence in a standards organization overnight. these things take time and patience, bestie 🦋

13. Security Considerations 🔐

This RFC raises no new security issues.

14. Informative References 📚

• [Carnegie] "How To Win Friends And Influence People", Dale Carnegie, 1990, ISBN 0671723650.
• [Farber] "How to Learn Any Language", Barry Farber, 1991, ISBN 1-56731-543-7.

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Author's Address 💌

Donald E. Eastlake 3rd
Motorola Laboratories
155 Beaver Street
Milford, MA 01757 USA

Phone:  +1 508-786-7554 (w)
EMail:  Donald.Eastlake@motorola.com

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