RFC 1925

RFC 1925: The Twelve Networking Truths 🎀

Okay bestie, the title block is the vibe check first 💅 This is RFC 1925, The Twelve Networking Truths, from the Network Working Group. The editor is R. Callon (that's Ross Callon 🧚), writing for IOOF, which stands for the Internet Order of Old Farts 💀. It's Category: Informational, dated 1 April 1996 🌸 The title block doesn't list anything it obsoletes or updates.

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Status of this Memo 💖

This memo is here to give info to the Internet community 🫶 It does not specify an Internet standard of any kind, and distribution is unlimited, so share it with everyone you know 🦋

Abstract 🌸

This memo writes down the fundamental truths of networking for the Internet community 🔥 It isn't a standard, except in the sense that every standard has to quietly follow these truths anyway.

Acknowledgements 🌈

These truths came out of extensive study over a long stretch of time, by lots of people, some of whom weren't even trying to contribute 🙈 The editor just collected them, and wants to thank the networking community for originally lighting the way ✨

1. Introduction ✨

This RFC shares info about the fundamental truths underneath all networking 💜 They apply to networking in general, not just TCP/IP, the Internet, or any other slice of the networking community.

2. The Fundamental Truths 👑

(1) It Has To Work. Okay, this one is the whole main character energy 💀

(2) No matter how hard you push and no matter what the priority, you can't increase the speed of light ⭐

• (2a) (corollary). No matter how hard you try, you can't make a baby in much less than 9 months. Trying to speed this up might make it slower, but it won't make it happen any quicker 🍼

(3) With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine 🐷✈️ However, this is not necessarily a good idea. It's hard to be sure where they're going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly overhead 😭

(4) Some things in life can never be fully appreciated or understood unless you experience them firsthand. Some things in networking can never be fully understood by someone who neither builds commercial networking equipment nor runs an operational network 🛠️

(5) It is always possible to aglutenate multiple separate problems into a single complex interdependent solution. In most cases this is a bad idea 🙅‍♀️

(6) It is easier to move a problem around (for example, by moving the problem to a different part of the overall network architecture) than it is to solve it 🫠

• (6a) (corollary). It is always possible to add another level of indirection 🧚

(7) It is always something 💅

• (7a) (corollary). Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick any two (you can't have all three) 💸

(8) It is more complicated than you think 🤯

(9) For all resources, whatever it is, you need more 📦

• (9a) (corollary) Every networking problem always takes longer to solve than it seems like it should ⏳

(10) One size never fits all 🎀

(11) Every old idea will be proposed again with a different name and a different presentation, regardless of whether it works 🔁

• (11a) (corollary). See rule 6a 🙃

(12) In protocol design, perfection has been reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away 🦋 This one is iconic, periodt.

Security Considerations ⚠️

This RFC raises no security issues. However, security protocols are subject to the fundamental networking truths. Yes, even the ones with the big locks on them 🔐😭

References 📚

The references were deleted to protect the guilty and avoid enriching the lawyers 💀

Author's Address 🧚

Ross Callon
Internet Order of Old Farts
c/o Bay Networks
3 Federal Street
Billerica, MA  01821

Phone: 508-436-3936
EMail: rcallon@baynetworks.com