SEX(6fun)

📦 version 2.3, in ubuntu jammy

💖 SEX(6fun) 💖

okay bestie, sit down, hydrate, and let me tell you about the most legendary page in the EUNUCH Programmer's Manual, section 6fun. yes it's literally called sex, yes it's a real manpage, and no I will not be taking questions. 🎀

✨ NAME ✨

sex — have sex 🫶

🌸 SYNOPSIS 🌸

sex [options] ...  [username] ...

👑 DESCRIPTION 👑

so sex lets whoever runs it have sex with the user(s) you name on the command line. that's the whole bit. 💅

and if you don't name anyone? it just pulls your partners from the LOVERS environment variable, no big deal, it already knows. iconic behaviour honestly.

now the options, because options are where things get interesting:

  • -1 — masturbate 🫠
  • -a — external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option ✨
  • -b — buggery
  • -B animal — bestiality with animal 🐾
  • -c — chocolate sauce option 🍫
  • -C — chaining option (cuffs included) — see also -m, -s, -W ⛓️
  • -d file — get a date with the features described in file
  • -e — exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net) 📸
  • -f — foreplay option 💞
  • -F — nasal sex with plants 🌱
  • -i — coitus interruptus (messy!) 😭
  • -j — jacuzzi option (California sites only) 🛁
  • -l — leather option 🖤
  • -m — masochism (see -s)
  • -M — triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option 👯
  • -n — necrophilia (if the target process is not dead, the program kills it) 💀
  • -o — oral option
  • -O — parallel access (orgy) 🔥
  • -p — debug option (proposition only) 🐛
  • -P — pedophilia (must specify a child process)
  • -q — quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am) ⚡
  • -s — sadism (target must set -m)
  • -S — sundae option 🍨
  • -v — voyeurism (surveys the entire net) 👀
  • -w — whipped cream option 🥛
  • -W — whips (see also -s, -C, and -m) 🪢
no cap, that's every single one of them, I counted twice so you wouldn't have to. 🫡

🌈 ENVIRONMENT 🌈

  • LOVERS — a list of default partners which will be used if none are specified in the command line. if any are specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored. so like, either you say who, or it says who. it's not doing both, bestie. 🦋

🎀 FILES 🎀

  • /usr/share/sex/animals — animals for bestiality
  • /usr/share/sex/blackbook — possible dates
  • /usr/share/sex/sundaes — sundae recipes 🍨
  • /usr/share/sex/s&m — sado-masochistic equipment

💀 BUGS 💀

  • ^C — (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied. 😭
  • ^Z — (stop process) is usually quite messy. 🙈
yeah these are the actual documented bugs. the devs knew. they knew and they shipped it anyway. 💅

⭐ HISTORY ⭐

Oldest program ever. 🏆 like, before everything. the blueprint. the original main character. periodt.

and that's the whole page, bestie 💜 it lives in the EUNUCH Programmer's Manual, section 6fun, and it signs off exactly like this:

SEX(6fun)

go forth and man responsibly 🧚✨

📦 where this page comes from