FLOG(1fun)

📦 version 2.3, in ubuntu jammy

💅 FLOG — the 1fun manual page, bestie edition ✨

okay so you found the flog page and honestly? iconic. it lives in section 1fun of the manual, and it's about making a process hurry up. yes really. let's get into it 🫶

🌸 NAME 🌸

flog — speed up a process 💨

🎀 SYNOPSIS 🎀

flog [-l n] [-a m] [-u] process-id

✨ DESCRIPTION ✨

So flog exists to stimulate an improvement in the performance of a process that's already out here running. it's not starting anything new, it's just... encouraging. 💅

The process-id is the process number of the process that is to be disciplined. that's the one. that's the target.

the flags, babes 🔥

  • -l n — the value n is the flagellation constant, aka the number of lashes to be administered per minute. if you omit it, the default is 17, which is, and I quote, the most random random number. no notes. ⭐
  • -a m — the value m is the number of times the inducement to speed up is to be administered. if you leave it out, the default is one, and that default is based on the possibility that after that one time the process will rectify its behavior of its own volition. giving it a chance to fix itself, we love growth. 🦋
  • -u — the presence of this flag means flog is to be unmerciful in its actions. and bestie, listen: this nullifies the effects of the other keyletter arguments. all of them. gone. it is recommended that this option be used only on extremely stubborn processes, because its over-use may have detrimental effects. so like. use it responsibly okay?? 😭

🍓 FILES 🍓

flog will read the file /have/mercy for any entry containing the process-id of the process being speeded-up. 💖

That file can contain whatever supplications are deemed necessary — go off, write a whole essay — but of course, these will be ignored if the -u flag is supplied. mercy is off the table. periodt. 🙈

💜 SEE ALSO 💜

On Improving Process Performance by the Administration of Corrective Stimulation, CACM, vol. 4, 1657, pp. 356-654. 📚

🩺 DIAGNOSTICS 🩺

If a named process does not exist, flog replies ``flog you'' on the standard output. yeah. it said that. 💀

If flog happens to kill(2) the process — which usually happens when the -u keyletter argument is supplied — it writes ``RIP,'' followed by the process-id of the deceased, on the standard output. rest in peace king 👑🕯️

🐛 BUGS 🐛

Spurious supplications for mercy by the process being flogged sometimes wind up on the standard output, rather than in /shut/up. not me leaking the begging to stdout 😭🙈

okay that's the whole page, you're officially a flog expert, slay 💅✨

this has been the FLOG page from the 1fun manual, version 1fun — yes the footer is literally just that, and honestly? iconic of it. 🎀

📦 where this page comes from