ZoneMi...hannel(3pm)

💖 NAME 💖

okay so bestie, this page is ZoneMi...hannel(3pm) — that's the header/footer name, all squished and truncated like that because man pages are dramatic 💅 — and the actual module it's about is ZoneMinder::Database, a Perl extension. and the official one-liner description? "Perl extension for blah blah blah." yeah. that's literally it. iconic in a cursed way 🫶

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✨ SYNOPSIS ✨

use ZoneMinder::Database;
blah blah blah

that's the whole vibe check right there. blah blah blah is doing a lot of heavy lifting, no cap 😭

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🌸 DESCRIPTION 🌸

okay so listen. this is stub documentation for ZoneMinder, created by h2xs. it looks like the author of the extension was negligent enough to leave the stub unedited. the man page literally says that about its own author. we love a self-aware king 👑

Blah blah blah.

🎀 EXPORT 🎀

• None by default. — nothing gets exported into your namespace unless you ask. lowkey polite of it 💜

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🦋 SEE ALSO 🦋

here's where you'd normally, like, mention other useful documentation — the docs for related modules, or operating system documentation (you know, man pages in UNIX 👀), or any relevant external documentation such as RFCs or standards.

if you have a mailing list set up for your module, mention it here.

if you have a web site set up for your module, mention it here.

so rn those are all placeholder instructions telling you to fill them in. nobody filled them in. the vibe is "to-do list from 2008" and honestly? relatable 🙈

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👑 AUTHOR 👑

Philip Coombes, <philip.coombes@zoneminder.com> 💖

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🌈 COPYRIGHT AND LICENSE 🌈

Copyright (C) 2001-2008 Philip Coombes

This library is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the same terms as Perl itself, either Perl version 5.8.3 or, at your option, any later version of Perl 5 you may have available.

fr fr, that's the whole license. free software, same terms as Perl itself, 5.8.3 or anything newer you've got lying around. go wild bestie 🎀

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and that's a wrap, bestie ✨ this was perl v5.40.1, dated 2026-02-01, and yeah — it really does call itself ZoneMi...hannel(3pm) at both ends of the page. truncated name, stub description, absolutely immaculate chaos. slay 💅🦋💖