ZoneMi...1W_Y2k(3pm)

💖 NAME 💖

ZoneMinder::Control::FI9821W — a whole Perl extension for the FOSCAM FI9821W camera, bestie. Yes, it's a 3pm page. Yes, it's for Perl. Yes, we're doing this.

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✨ SYNOPSIS ✨

okay so here's the vibe, literally copy-paste core:

use ZoneMinder::Database;
blah blah blah

that's it. that's the synopsis. blah blah blah is doing a LOT of heavy lifting here and honestly? iconic of it.

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🦋 DESCRIPTION 🦋

So this is stub documentation for ZoneMinder, created by h2xs. And the tea is: it looks like the author of the extension was negligent enough to leave the stub unedited. Not me reading that in the year of our lord. 💀

Blah blah blah.

That's the whole description. She's giving placeholder. She's giving "I'll finish it later" and later never came. No cap.

🌸 EXPORT 🌸

• None by default.

Like, nothing. Zero. Zip. Not a single symbol exported unless you go out of your way. It's giving mysterious. 🎀

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🫶 SEE ALSO 🫶

This is the part where the docs say to mention other useful documentation, such as:

• the documentation of related modules
• operating system documentation (think man pages in UNIX)
• any relevant external documentation like RFCs or standards

And also:

• if you have a mailing list set up for your module, mention it here
• if you have a web site set up for your module, mention it here

That's it. That's literally the entire section. It's a template telling you what a SEE ALSO section should contain instead of, y'know, containing it. The audacity is unmatched. 🙈

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👑 AUTHOR 👑

Philip Coombes, <philip.coombes@zoneminder.com>

say it with me: the man, the myth, the author. 💅

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💜 COPYRIGHT AND LICENSE 💜

Copyright (C) 2001-2008 Philip Coombes

This library is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the same terms as Perl itself, either Perl version 5.8.3 or, at your option, any later version of Perl 5 you may have available.

so yeah, free software, same terms as Perl itself, 5.8.3 or newer if you wanna. slay.

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and that's the whole page, babes — brought to you by perl v5.40.1, dated 2026-02-01, and the manual name is ZoneMinder::Control::FI9821W(3pm). go forth and control that FOSCAM. 🧚💖✨