Perl::C...OrFreeze(3)

💖 Perl::C...OrFreeze(3) — aka Perl::Critic::Policy::Storable::ProhibitStoreOrFreeze 💖

okay bestie, sit down, grab a boba, because this little policy is lowkey saving your whole production environment and nobody's talking about it. 🫶

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✨ VERSION ✨

version 0.01 — tiny number, huge energy. it's giving "small but mighty." 💅

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🌸 DESCRIPTION 🌸

so picture this, bestie. Imagine the scenario: you've got some Perl code running on a server that uses Storable's freeze and thaw to serialise Perl data to and from a shared store. everything's cute, everything's vibing. ✨

then the load on the server increases, so you do the responsible thing and add another one to share the work. and honestly? it slays. the two of them are happily sharing the workload, both reading and writing each other's serialised data. no drama. iconic behaviour. 👑

but then 🌪️ — you need to add yet another server to handle the load. except this one is a different hardware platform. and bang, your Perl code breaks. 💀

not a vibe. not a vibe at all.

why?? why did it betray you like this?? 😭 because you didn't use the network-aware nfreeze, nstore, or lock_nstore. that's it. that's the whole thing. the way that byte order and architecture-specific formatting will absolutely humble your little distributed system if you let it. fr fr.

so this policy is basically your bestie grabbing your hand before you walk into traffic: do not use store or freeze in Storable.pm. use the network-aware ones. periodt. 🎀

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💜 AUTHOR 💜

Matt Dainty <matt@bodgit-n-scarper.com> — king behaviour, ty for your service 🫡💖

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🌈 COPYRIGHT 🌈

Copyright (c) 2008 Matt Dainty.

This program is free software; you can redistribute is and/or modify it under the same terms as Perl itself.

(yes bestie, the original really does say "redistribute is" — we do not fix the king's typos, we preserve them exactly. archival queen behaviour. 🙈)

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perl v5.42.0 · 2025-07-25 · and that's the whole page, bestie!! go use nfreeze and stay safe out there 🦋✨ mwah 💋