Apache...k::Null(3pm)

💅 Apache::Session::Lock::Null — the manual page, bestie edition

okay so this is a page from the User Contributed Perl Documentation, and it's all about Apache::Session::Lock::Null. Yes the name is long. Yes it's giving "I was named by a committee". But stay with me because the bit is genuinely iconic. 🎀

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✨ NAME ✨

Apache::Session::Lock::Null — does not actually provides mutual exclusion

(no fr, that's the whole thing. it doesn't provide mutual exclusion. it provides... vibes. 💀)

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🌸 SYNOPSIS 🌸

here's the whole move, copy-paste ready:

use Apache::Session::Lock::Null;

my $locker = Apache::Session::Lock::Null->new;

$locker->acquire_read_lock($ref);
$locker->acquire_write_lock($ref);
$locker->release_read_lock($ref);
$locker->release_write_lock($ref);
$locker->release_all_locks($ref);

like... look at all those methods. so many methods. and every single one of them is doing absolutely nothing. it's the most unbothered module in the whole ecosystem and honestly? we should all aspire. 😌

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🦋 DESCRIPTION 🦋

okay so real talk. Apache::Session::Lock::Null fulfills the locking interface of Apache::Session — like, it shows up, it has all the right methods, it passes the vibe check — but it without actually doing any work. zero. nada. not a single lock acquired, bestie.

so when do you reach for this? the page is super clear about it: this is the module to use if you want maximum performance and don't actually need locking. that's it. that's the entire pitch. speed 💨 over safety, but on purpose, and only if you genuinely don't need the locking.

🚩 warning bestie: this is a Null locker. it does not do mutual exclusion. if you DO need locking, this is not your girl. do not come crying to me when your concurrent writes start fighting. 🙈

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👑 AUTHOR 👑

this module was written by Jeffrey William Baker <jwbaker@acm.org>. king behavior, honestly. 🫶

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🌈 SEE ALSO 🌈

• Apache::Session — the parent situation, go look at it

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and that's the page!! short, sweet, and doing literally nothing on purpose, which is a whole mood. 💖

this was perl v5.36.0, dated 2022-11-19, and yeah the header/footer both say Apache...k::Null(3pm) because the man page formatter truncates like that and we respect it. mwah. 💅✨